Imaginary
by SlayerRyoko
Summary: Set after END OF DAYS. Spike thinks over what he saw and most come to a conclusion about his feelings. May or may not be a S/B, but very dark.


Title: Imaginary  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Summary: Set after END OF DAYS. Spike thinks over what he saw and most come to a conclusion about his feelings. May or may not be a S/B, but very dark.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own BTVS, nor do I own the song Imaginary. Please don't sue me. I have no money.  
  
***  
  
He was sitting on the ground, his back agents a tree. Rain was hitting his face as he sat there. Thunder boomed over head. He closed his eyes and the image of Buffy and Angel kissing flew back into his head. He growled and ran a hand threw his hair. He should have known that Buffy could never love him. But in his own little world, she always loved him.  
  
***  
  
Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming  
  
Cannot cease for the fear  
  
Of silent nights  
  
Oh how I long for the deep sleep dreaming  
  
The goddess of imaginary light  
  
***  
  
When he slept, she loved him more then she could say. He liked to dream and sleep. It felt better there then in this real world. He sometimes wondered what real death felt like. This life. er. Unlife wasn't for him. He knew his soul made him different but still. someone had once told him back when he was still just William that ones soul goes on living after we are dead. He had always wondered his that was true.  
  
***  
  
In my field of paper flowers  
  
And candy clouds of lullaby  
  
I lie inside myself for hours  
  
And watch my purple sky fly over me  
  
***  
  
He heard somene behind him and looked up to see Buffy standing there. "I've been looking for you." She said.  
  
"And I've been trying to get away from you." He hissed back, turning his gaze away from her.  
  
"What is your deal?" She asked.  
  
"You and that Sire of mine!" He yelled, standing up to glare at her. "That's my deal. Didn't you think I would know? Huh?"  
  
She gulped. "You saw that, did you?"  
  
"Oh yeah, love. I saw that." He turned away for just a moment before booming at her. "What is your bloody deal, woman?! Can't you see what you have done to me? I did so much for you and yet you still go and kiss the one man I truly hate!"  
  
"It's not what you think it is!"  
  
"LIKE SHIT IT ISN'T!" He yelled, making her move back a little. "I've goen threw hell and back to be with you! I got a soul because I thought that was what you needed. And Angel?! Angel didn't WANT his soul! Who's the better man, Buffy?! Well, you know, I've gotten kind of sick of being the second man." He turned and began to walk away.  
  
***  
  
I linger in the doorway  
  
Of alarm clock screaming monsters  
  
Calling my name  
  
Let me stay  
  
Where the wind will whisper to me  
  
Where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story  
  
***  
  
"You can't just leave!" Buffy called after him. "I need your help!"  
  
"No, you don't!" He said, turning around again. "You have my sire, don't you?! Well, have fun."  
  
"We need your help, Spike."  
  
"Well, that's to damn bad! Did you really think I'd just put up with it forever? Every man has his limits, Slayer! I just reached mine! Tell the Bit I said I'm sorry. She's the one person I'll miss." With that he turned and walked away, not even bothering to here Buffy's callings.  
  
He stood on a hill, gazing down at the city of Sunny Dale. He looked to where the sky was turning pink. The sun was coming up. He sat down on the grass and closed his eyes.  
  
***  
  
If you need to leave the world you live in  
  
Lay your head down and stay a while  
  
Though you may not remember dreaming  
  
Something waits for you to breathe again  
  
***  
  
Death had been calling for a long time, it was time at last to answer the phone. He began to fal asleep and dream. But this time, the dream didn't have Buffy. It had blackness and him all alone, in death. That dream was his last before the sun came up.  
  
***  
  
In my field of paper flowers  
  
And candy clouds of lullaby  
  
I lie inside myself for hours  
  
And watch my purple sky fly over me.  
  
***  
  
THE END 


End file.
